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According to her family, a private investigator has followed up on dozens of. I tried commiting suicide and ended up brain dead Then after I got out of the coma, I was put in rehab for 11 months where I kept trying to break my neck and die because I missed my fiance so much (he wasnt allowed to visit me because he had attempted suicide with me too since he didnt want to live without me). I also knew that there was no hope whatsoever for what was wrong with me. It is important to note that there has been no activity on her phone, bank accounts, or social media accounts since Sept. 30. While in Australia she started blogging about beginning to experience bouts of depression on top of her anxiety. At times I hate myself. For Kevin Hines, the will to live kicked in immediately. I dont understand why things are suddenly going so well for me though.. Youd think karma would hit me and make my life way worse but I guess the universe wants me alive for some reason? That changes things. Also, on the Resources page, I list a number of websites and other resources for people who have lost someone to suicide. Sydney West was last seen near the Golden Gate Bridge in the early morning hours of Sept. 30, walking near Crissy Field. Your Privacy Choices (Opt Out of Sale/Targeted Ads). Challenges, extreme challenges. I am resigned to staying alive until I die in some other way. But things went wrong for Dusty as he climbed the rails to attempt the feat. His father had died by suicide and even though I knew all of this, I couldnt see the forest through the trees. She was last seen wearing a light teal hoodie, dark leggings, and slip-on vans sneakers with dark green and black print. She was last seen in long, dark leggings, a teal hooded sweatshirt and slip-on Vans in a dark green and black print. Dear Anthony, [feb.6.2019 @9.26am]. A couple hours. and our You note that installation of a suicide barrier at the Bloor Viaduct in Toronto merely caused people to go to other locations in Toronto to die by suicide. I know someone who hanged themself 18 months ago after a buildup of personal problems and much alcohol that night, but rescue services were called and saved him. Also Live Through This website has beautiful portraits (photographic but also in prose) of people who survived a suicide attempt. Her parents thanked others for the love and support, and asked people to continue spreading the word by sharing photos and memories of their daughter on social media. User account menu. Some die instantly from internal injuries, while others . Upon its completion in 1937, it was the tallest and longest suspension bridge in the world. PLEASANTON, Calif. (KRON) Nearly a year has gone by since a Bay Area college student, Sydney West, vanished in San Francisco. Has he tried cognitive behavior therapy? And half of people who die by suicide had attempted suicide at least once previously. Others need to respect the decision. SFGATE's Editor-at-Large Andrew Chamings is a British writer in San Francisco. "Jump." That's the word Kevin Hines heard in his head on September 25, 2000, as he stood on the Golden Gate Bridge. A good place to start is the Facebook group Live Through This. And they did for the Hollywood stuntmans attempt to sail off the Golden Gate Bridge on Feb. 6, 1948. The Golden Gate Bridge is the number one suicide site in the world. As well, though, I believe I may have accidentally given myself something like ECT. East Bay Wine & Whimsy (Metaphysical Market), Before & After Photos Show CA's Snowpack, Reservoirs After Storms, Best Bay Area Sandwiches + Stranded Hiker Rescued: Saturday Smiles, Sprawling Estates, Suburban Dreams: 11 Featured Bay Area Homes, Berkeley Police Warn Of Vehicle Theft Rise, The Poop On Free-Range Cats And Your Lawn And Garden [Block Talk]. Rhodes had been seeking fame all his life, and successfully became one of Hollywoods first stuntmen, appearing in movies such as "Under Arizona Skies" and "Duel in the Sun," in which he performed a cliff jump. Dont believe anyone who tells you differently. Parents hope key to teen's disappearance is with passerby on Golden Gate Bridge, How one storm system wreaked havoc from coast to coast, Californians await key decisions from reparations task force, Bankman-Fried might use flip phone under stricter bail plan, Woman accused of killing ill husband released from jail, Alaska's arduous Iditarod kicks off with ceremonial start, was initially thought to have last been seen or heard from early the morning of September 30 in the Crissy Field area. But it was my final stay at a state mental hospital when I began reading a book that finally spoke to me: Dying for a Drink, and for the first time in my life I recognized the fact that I was an alcoholic and that I had been treating major depression with a depressant. Between 1937 and 2012, an estimated 1,400 bodies were recovered of people who had jumped from the Golden Gate Bridge, located in the San Francisco Bay Area in the United States.. It was in 1984. Stacey Freedenthal, PhD, LCSW, is the author of the books Helping the Suicidal Person: Tips and Techniques for Professionals and Loving Someone with Suicidal Thoughts: What Family, Friends, and Partners Can Say and Do. Additionally, Hines takes medication and . SAN FRANCISCO (CBS SF) The family of a UC Berkeley freshman who disappeared last September has offered a $10,000 reward for information in connection with the case. She grew up in Pleasanton, CA and then moved to Chapel Hill, NC with her family during high school. Someone mustve seen something nothing is being ruled out. Her family has stated that she enjoyed the area around the Golden Gate Bridge, and it was not unlike her to take pictures and go for a walk or run. The instant regret of jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge did not result in instant mental health recovery once Hines survived. I was able to make it out of the hopelessness and despair that led to my attempt. :A Follow-up Study of Suicide Attempters fromthe Golden Gate Bridge.. It was a serious, intentional attempt to end my own life. There is a strength within you. Police do not necessarily believe there was foul play involved, according to an interview Rueca had with KRON4. Rhodes, who also went by his native Navajo name Chief Sundown, was no stranger to danger. The family of a Sydney West, a 19-year-old Pleasanton native and former Foothill High School student, is again asking the public for any information about their daughters whereabouts leading up to her disappearance last month in San Francisco. This site continues to distract me from my suicidal thoughts. Its impossible to know but something to consider, in case youre only considering the set of possibilities for which you blame yourself. Car plunges off California elevated highway, 3 people killed. 18 I held a gun to my head in my backyard w my finger on the trigger. That's a mind-blowing statement. Anyone with information about Sydneys whereabouts is asked to contact private investigator Scott Dudek by texting or calling 925-705-8328. Me and my childrens life broke into pieces and our life will never be the same. Sydney West never returned home, and has not been heard from since. If all else fails do something drastic. Ken Baldwin. He had a gun in the house that he never used, was trying to sell, I didnt even think of it during this time. We dont like living in pain, and we look for ways of ending that pain and, being creatures of habit, we do it in old familiar ways because thats what we know. The longitude and latitude for the Bridge location is approximately: N 37 Degrees, 49 Minutes, 8.0 Seconds --- W 122 Degrees, 28 Minutes, 40.6 Seconds. Her father grew worried when she didnt call the next day the day she was last spotted in San Francisco. I just read your post. Sydney West is from Chapel Hill, North Carolina, but also grew up in the Pleasanton area. That is no way to live, but that is the reality. Rhodes was the 90th person to jump to their death from the bridge in its short 11 year history, but the first who wanted to survive. We talked a lot about loving each other. I agree with you completely, Anonymous. He already had refused to get help or to stop drinking. If you really love someone, please open up to them, share your feelings and talk to someone, suicide will never be the solution to any problem but creating pain to your loved one. The main principle to this is very simple Taking energy and harnessing it for the good and nothing can go wrong.. I recently lost a good friend to suicide. There was a 44% increase in jumping suicides per year at nearby sites (95% CI 15% to 81%), but the net gain was a 28% reduction in all jumping suicides per year in the study cities (95% CI 13% to 40%).. Everything says Get help. Have you found commonality in your suicidal patients? They planned to reconvene in L.A. the following day to hatch a plan to monetize the footage. Lets get real here life sucks and its hard but dont give up. SF]. She was a student at Donlon Elementary and Hart Middle schools and attended Foothill High School for her freshman and sophomore years. Anyone in the Bay Area with any information regarding her disappearancecan contact Sgt. As a person who has tried countless times to end my life, even shooting myself in the head, we are stuck living with yet another feeling of failure when we fail and continue suffering. Suicide prevention can save lives. At the time of her disappearance Sydney was 5 feet 10 inches tall, weighs around 130 pounds with light brown hair and blue eyes. Your battle won matters. You provide inspiration to others who still are stuck in that hopelessness and despair. On average, 30 people or more die from suicide here each year. My advice to you or to those considering suicide or attempted suicide, please THINK of your loved one, your family and friends. The Oscars will air on ABC and can be streamed on ABC.com and the ABC app as well as Hulu + Live TV, YouTube TV, AT&T TV or FuboTV. A view of the Golden Gate Bridge with San Francisco behind it in January 1947. I pretended to have an awakening and successfully faked a born-again quality joy that warded off the idiotic, feeble attempts of others to help me. It is always wonderful to hear from someone who made it out to the other side. Growing up Sydney was described as a sweet and goofy girl who wasnt afraid of being herself. At 10 o'clock in the morning, Ken. As the deaths of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain draw attention to the public health crisis of depression and mental illness, Megyn Kelly TODAY welcomes Kevi. She is an amazing musician. I fantasize a lot about suicide. I attempted when I was a teenager. Ive been hospitalized 4 times in the past 6 weeks, after my 9th suicide attempt. She failed at killing herself and learned a different process of questions to see her feelings. Dealing with the guilt is the hardest thing I have ever dealt with. He grew up in the Los Angeles area, went to UC Berkeley and has previously worked as a news reporter at USA Today and SFGATE and as a music writer at NPR. For his big ticket to stardom, Rhodes was inspired by a circus performer named Frank Cushing who was plucked out of the bay the previous year after claiming that he had just leaped from the bridge, though no one was there to see it. Generally, research into method substitution has found that blocking access to a suicide method results in fewer suicides overall, even when taking into consideration those suicides by people who found other ways to die. Precious few people survive such a fall; the water about 200 feet below acts the same as concrete when a person lands on it at high speed. In the midst of a struggle with mental illness, Hines got a running start . Notify me of follow-up comments by email. At approximately 6:45 am, Sydney was captured by cameras entering the Golden Gate Bridge. Sign up for free Patch newsletters and alerts. He managed to turn himself upright in the few seconds it took for him to hit the water; this way, he did not land on his head. It gives me a good opportunity to dispel concerns that others may have, too. What happens to them afterward? Good luck to you, Joan. Wests parents said they have now hired a private investigator who is working with the San Francisco Police Department and Orange County (North Carolina) Sheriffs Department. This is certainly true for me: narcissistic mother and sister. I use to hate her for wanting to leave me, got diagnosed w depression at 15 have done so many therapy sessions. Obviously, I failed. I hope that he is able to get effective help, both psychologically and pharmaceutically. The night before she disappeared (Sept. 29) she and her father Jay West had a lengthy phone conversation according to her family. I wonder what psychotherapy he has tried. Copyright 2023 Nexstar Media Inc. All rights reserved. Andrew has written for The Atlantic, Vice, SF Weekly, the San Francisco Chronicle, McSweeney's, The Bold Italic, Drowned in Sound and many other places. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. First published on January 25, 2021 / 11:03 AM. I am dead broke, have exhausted both my savings and retirement stash, I am about to have my car repod and cant find a job. Im afraid to try again and it just adds for anger, desperation, loss of control over my own life and guilt for those in my life who have to worry. The details of your life will, of course, be different but we have our humanness in common. After my attempt at suicide, I tried to find information about my feelings and what others were feeling. Try convincing someone like me that life is worth it. Missing person: The San Francisco Police Department is asking the public to report any information regarding 19-year-old Sydney West who was last seen on Sept. 30, 2020, at SF's Crissy Field. While at Berkeley she joined the rowing team and showed a strong interest in medicine, business, and biological science. I woke up on my own after my first attempt. How could I have been so stupid? I wear various hats: I created and maintain this website, Speaking of Suicide, I'm an associate professor at the University of Denver Graduate School of Social Work, and I have a psychotherapy and consulting practice. I am very sorry for your loss. My name is Steven. Here I thought I just occasionally drank too much. Reach out to someone, anyone because I can tell you they have no idea how you feel. It turns out that I had, and still have, many misconceptions about myself and the people in encounter. Have you read Whats In the Way Is the Way by Mary OMalley? The attempt was no cry for help. Sydney Kaitlyn West, 19, was last seen near the Golden Gate Bridge around 6:45 a.m. on September 30, 2020. They would split the profits from the film 50/50. Parenthood does not protect everyone, though. For those who are thinking about suicide, I know what happens after youre gone isnt part of the thought process, but believe me, you might end your pain, but the trajectory of pain caused to others is also insurmountable. There is not much known about the day Sydney disappeared. We will never recover from it. Public File for KBCW-TV / KBCW 44 Cable 12. West may have been wearing dark leggings, blue Vans shoes and a teal sweatshirt at the time of her disappearance. Theres people who love you and want you to keep pushing even if your soul reason is living to not put them through that heartache. Email: Andrew.Chamings@sfgate.com | Twitter: @AndrewChamings. Aside from seeing a therapist, I didnt find anything out there to help. I am sure your little self felt am I not lovable enough but it was never about you, your mum was in pain and obviously thought you would be better off without her, but it is not a reflection on you, hard to accept as children are programmed to feel the centre of the world. The man who tried to find fame by jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge, Horoscope for Saturday, 3/04/23 by Christopher Renstrom, Snowboarder dies at Tahoe ski resort following historic blizzard, West I-80 closed near Tahoe due to snow and 'multiple spinouts', Wife of Jeffrey Vandergrift issues somber update, Even Salesforces tower HQ isnt safe from office cuts, Inside Harry and Meghans favorite In-N-Out, Horoscope for Friday, 3/03/23 by Christopher Renstrom, Massive Lake Tahoe waterfront compound slashes price by $20M, This beloved East Bay hybrid cafe and bike shop is closing, Ja Morant says he'll get help after video shows apparent gun. I interviewed her parents.https://t.co/tiBGM53NZz pic.twitter.com/lvHh2cCrZg. San Francisco Police have previously said the teenager "is considered at risk due to depression." Her Disappearance: Sydney West was a 19-year-old freshman at U.C. Sometimes, life just sucks and the pain of living is unbearable. Why Prevent Suicide? Hi Joan. We remain hopeful that someone knows something that will be helpful in finding her.. "On Aug. 20, 1985, I jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge, and I survived." Ken Baldwin was 28 years old and had just started a family. America feeds narcissistic women because their joy is in materialistic consumption, the backbone of this country that once believed life had a higher purpose. Please enter valid email address to continue. Woke up yesterday and realized I needed to make another pilgrimage before the series begins. Its not always a change of mind when deciding not to jump its fear of failure, Hi Londa, On the morning of September 30, 2020, Sydney took a ride share service to the Golden Gate Bridge, where she often went to jog, practice yoga, and exercise in nearby Crissy Field. "Folks that have seen anything that resembles Sydney, we really want to collect information.". Same with divorce. I tried to commit suicide when I was 18. Suicide isnt an option, keep telling yourself that. Theres just a lack of evidence that shes not with us anyone, Jay West said. We interviewed our tech expert, Jaime Vazquez, to learn more about accessible smart home devices. West vanished Sept. 30 in San Francisco. There are some reports that Sydney may have suffered from depression. He might also have refused to remove the gun from the home, too. Maybe in order to evade authorities who had refused permission to allow the jump legally 18 months earlier, he removed the weighted boots that were intended to keep him upright during the plunge. Especially when its an opinion so your both right. The Golden Gate Bridge crosses the Golden Gate Strait and connects the City of San Francisco and the County of Marin to the north. I had my suicidal thoughts since I was a child I lost my mum when I was 9 years old she took her own life and even now after my attempt I still dont know how to feel about what happened to her and what I have done to my self but I know I will have to find a way to live with the impact of my attempt and hopefully find a way to some sort of happiness, Please seek help, therapy to work through your trauma, it must be so hard to have lost your mum in this way and your nine year old self could only feel abandoned, not enough to have stopped her. She has blonde hair and blue eyes, and was last seen wearing a sweatshirt, dark-colored shorts and blue Vans sneakers. I am a 60+ year old woman with four grown kids and six grandkids and when the darkness set in I could no longer see the effect this would have had on their lives. / CBS San Francisco. It is also possible she was wearing eyeglasses instead of contact lenses. Dayna. Her Disappearance: Sydney West was a 19-year-old freshman at U.C. Those two have shown some effectiveness at reducing suicidal ideation and behavior. The footage taken by Guzman didn't make the news, but was watched by a small, select group: the San Francisco coroners jury, which quickly ruled a case of accidental death from drowning a week later. There were probably signs that you had a drinking problem from the very beginning. It was a startling revelation. A narcissistic parent doesnt cause suicide, either lifes problems do or mental illness does. Somehow I survived. "We know that there was a lot of pedestrian, car and bicycle traffic on the Golden Gate Bridge the morning Sydney disappeared. Its death toll has since been surpassed only by the Nanjing Yangtze River Bridge in China.. A. There are far more narcissistic dads and men than there are women and mothers. Say someone wants to die by suicideso badly that they go to the Golden Gate Bridge to jump off. . West's parents are asking anyone who may have been. I know how hard it is. At the age of 19, Kevin Hines attempted to commit suicide by jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge, an all-too-common act that nearly always results in death. And there ended Rhodes four-years-in-the-making attempt to wow crowds and find fame by jumping from the bridge into the bay.